zinke::works: The Worldy Self-Direction Ethos Does Not Work in Your Favor

10.18.2009

The Worldy Self-Direction Ethos Does Not Work in Your Favor

The other day a regular customer was in my store preparing some nachos. We have a nacho bar where one can decorate nachos with chili and cheese and stuff, and this guy was whipping up a tray of nachos.

“So,” he turned to me and asked, “are these nachos any good?”

“That depends,” I gamely replied, “You get out of them what you put in!”

“That bad, huh?” he chuckled.

“Not really. But if they are, it’s not our fault.”

We both laughed. I said it in jest, but there was some truth to it. It’s actually a rather scary ethos, all things considered.

You get out of life what you put into it. Life is all about you. And now we have a Web, Web 2.0, that mirrors that ethos. What is important is what you contribute to the “conversation”. User-generated content is what counts. In some cases, like Wikipedia, it is good. In others, (90% of YouTube is a good example), it is not. It is junk.

But I digress. The point is that we’re still believing that we are in control of what happens to us. We get out of bed thinking, “Today is a blank slate, and I can sculpt my day to be the perfect day for me! Everything will go well because I say it will.”

This rubs me wrong in two ways. First, I don't like the self-centered vibe it emits, because ‘constructing the perfect day’ usually involves complacent activities like sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream and pizza, or impulse-shopping at the Mall of America. (Current MOA ad slogans include “The road to economic recovery will be long. You’ll need shoes,” “You could probably do without it, but why take that chance?,” and “Is that a new purse, of did you just get more interesting?”)

The main reason that the self-direction ethos bugs me, though, is that it A) doesn’t include space for “random” (read: predestined) events, and B) it places all of the responsibility, and, hence, the potential guilt, of a failed day squarely on you. Just like if that guy had ended up with a crappy tray of nachos, the self-direction ethos dictates that if you have a crappy day, it is completely your fault. After a while, these days start to add up. Week after week, month after month, year after year. If you’re having crappy days, you’re obviously not doing enough to prevent them. The astute reader will make the connection that depression will soon entail, followed by utter hopelessness. The universe, without God, does not work in your favor. However...